


Can't Fight This Feeling

by TMar



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 04:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16569224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMar/pseuds/TMar
Summary: Beverly isn't dating a Klingon. So why does she keep showing up with cuts and bruises the "morning after"?





	Can't Fight This Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Some friends and I (known back in the '90s as the writing group "Hummers Ink") came up with the idea for this story in 1992. IT COULD BE TRIGGERING as it mentions physical abuse. I also tagged sexual abuse, because although it is NOT a rape story, the abuse has a sexual element. Do not read if it will distress you.

CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING

Picard uncharacteristically ran into Sickbay to find his Chief Medical  
Officer unconscious on one of her own biobeds. Dr. Miller stood on one side  
attending Beverly, while Deanna and Riker stood on the other, looking most  
upset. "What the hell happened?" demanded Picard, turning a furious gaze on  
all three of them. The soft hum of the Sickbay equipment seemed to be making  
an abnormally loud scream in his head as he looked down at Beverly Crusher,  
covered in cuts and bruises, looking very pale.

"We were to meet for our daily exercise," the Betazoid explained. "When she  
didn't turn up, I went looking for her. I found ... this." She indicated the  
unconscious form of Beverly.

"And I brought her here," Riker added.

Picard looked at Dr. Miller as if to say, "Explain." The doctor shrugged.

"It looks like the classic case of a bad beating," he told the captain.

"WHAT!" shouted Picard, but Miller was continuing.

"... Cuts and bruises too numerous to mention, plus two cracked ribs and a  
fractured tibia. And... that's not all." He paused, and Picard waited for  
him to continue. "I have repaired the broken bones, but there is an  
indication that there were some older injuries too."

"Older? What do you mean?"

"This has happened before. Not to this extent, but it has happened."

Riker interrupted. "That's impossible. How?" He looked at Deanna. "When?" He  
looked at Picard. They all looked at each other in confusion. And Picard  
said just two words to his first officer, "Find out."

"F... find out... what?" they heard a voice ask. They looked down to find  
Beverly looking up at them.

"What happened?" she asked.

"You don"t remember?" Riker said.

"What?"

"What happened to you."

"N... nothing. I... nothing. I don't..." her voice faltered. "Why am I here?  
Did I get hurt?"

"Hurt! I'll say you're hurt!" Riker just about shouted, and then quickly  
explained the situation.

Beverly clearly didn't know anything about it.

"Let's try this," Troi suggested. "Who were you with last night?"

"With... Re'Ece. We were... we had dinner, and then... I think..." She  
looked away.

"Did you spend the night with him?" asked Deanna gently.

"No." She shook her head. "I don't think so. I... I don't remember anything  
bad happening."

"And your old injuries?" Doctor Miller had a question of his own.

"I don't have any `old injuries'," Crusher said, sounding quite hurt.

"Surely I'd remember something like that?" Beverly's usual fire had returned,  
and she sat up weakly.

Picard helped her to sit up. "Doctor, we need some sort of lead if we're to  
find out how these injuries could possibly have occured."

"Dammit, Jean-Luc, I don't remember."

That much was true, at least...

**

The Enterprise had been transporting colonists to Bayo III, which was  
primarily an agricultural world. Even in the 24th century, some people  
preferred to grow their own crops and live a 'back to nature' lifestyle. The  
irony of them having to be transported by the most advanced technological  
construct invented always seemed to escape them. It certainly seemed to  
escape Re'Ece, one of the myriad farmers on board.

He walked the decks of the Enterprise as if he belonged there, and his  
magnetism was almost palpable.

The male crewmembers noticed how all the women got rapturous expressions on  
their faces whenever he came into the room. The reason for this seemed  
clear: his pitch black hair, "the colour of darkest space", some bright-eyed  
ensign had said. The fact that it was greying on the sides made him all the  
more sexy, according to the women. He had magnetic, navy blue eyes, strong  
cheekbones and a mischievous smile - when he smiled, which wasn't often. He  
was extremely serious, but this didn't stop almost every female on board  
from throwing herself at him. Riker had some serious competition.

Unbelievably, Re'Ece was the only one who didn't seem to notice. Even Deanna  
Troi seemed captivated by him, as Beverly found out during dessert in Ten  
Forward. "Don't you think he's handsome?" asked Troi around a mouthful of  
chocolate ice-cream.

"Hmm, I guess," replied the doctor, not really paying attention. When Deanna  
expressed surprise at this attitude, Beverly tried to think of her reasons  
for not being enchanted. "He's lovely looking," she said, "but I've come to  
realise that it's not what's inside that matters."

"Well, we know your tastes run more to hazel eyes and Shakespeare," said  
Deanna playfully.

Beverly dropped her spoon in her banana split. "What!" She picked up a  
spoonful of ice-cream and aimed it at Deanna. "Say one more word, you... you  
EMPATH!"

"Sorry," said the empath in question with a huge grin and changed the  
subject.

**

Re'Ece had entered the room just as Beverly had picked up the spoonful of  
ice-cream. On his world everyone was dark-haired and dark-eyed, and he'd  
seen many blondes and brunettes on this voyage, but this was his first  
encounter with a redhead. As he saw the imp in her come out, he felt  
something he didn't often feel. Being of a somewhat telepathic race, he felt  
her enthusiasm and enjoyment of life, and knew that this was the woman for  
him. But, being from a planet where adultery was frowned on, he decided to  
ask the walking computer called "Data" if the woman had a mate.

**

"Doctor Crusher's husband was killed on a mission twelve years ago," Data  
said when asked.

"And she has no mate?"

"There has been some speculation regarding the doctor's relationship with  
Captain Picard. However, the probability of their actually being involved is  
less than 20%."

"They're not involved?"

"I do not think so."

"Thanks, Data." He turned as if to go. "Oh, Data. One more thing. Would you  
happen to know what interests the doctor has?"

Data, confused, supplied the information, and Re'Ece went off with the  
intention of using it to the full.

**

"Doctor Crusher, could I have a moment of your time?" He turned on his  
projection of help-needing solicitousness.

"Certainly, Mr. Re'Ece. What's on your mind?"

"I would like to start a small theatre when we get to Bayo III, and I  
understand that you have experience in the area."

"Oh," said Crusher, sounding disapproving, "and where did you hear that?"

"Around," he replied. "I would appreciate your help."

Crusher turned all business. "And what kind of help would you need?"

"What is involved with putting on a production, how to select actors,  
theatre pieces... things like that."

"What planet are you from, Mr. Re'Ece?"

"The name is Re'Ece. My people are a mixture of many different races. We  
call ourselves Suranians."

Beverly has heard of the Suranians. They were a telepathic race who  
alternately wandered the galaxy or settled, depending on whether a male or  
female was their figurehead ruler. Currently, a female was, so it was time  
to settle. Hence the colony. They claimed to have humans, Klingons,  
Andorians and even Vulcans in their ancestory, but so far no evidence had  
been found to corroborate this. Also, the fact that so far they had not  
mated or bonded with any people besides other Suranians, made their claim  
seem suspicious.

Beverly knew all this, and she also knew that Suranian taste in theatre was  
similar to human. So she agreed to help Re'Ece, and she began to spend a lot  
of time with him... of course...

***

Picard had sat reading to Beverly until she fell asleep. Now, as she lay  
there, the marks fading, Picard felt an immense sense of relief. He was glad  
that she was on her way to recovery, but he was now doubly determined to  
find out what had happened to his chief medical officer... and friend. He  
never thought that his determination might be rooted in an even deeper  
feeling.

Picard went to Data's quarters to ask the android for his help in solving  
the mystery.

"What should I look for, Sir?" asked his science officer when Picard put his  
request.

"I don't know, Mr. Data. Anything relating to the Suranians and possible  
incidents like this."

"Yes, Sir."

Data began work in his quarters, and continued when he was on night watch on  
the bridge. Worf, on night watch as well, inquired what Data was doing. Data,  
having not been forbidden to talk about the subject, told him briefly.

"The Suranians!" Worf snorted. "No one told me they were Suranians. I do not  
trust them."

Data's curiosity was immediately aroused. "Are they unworthy of your trust?"

"We Klingons have never trusted them, even though they claim to have Klingon  
heritage." The security chief squared his shoulders. "I do not believe it."

"Why not?"

"There have been too many 'accidents' around them, like the one afflicted on  
Dr. Crusher."

Data asked what that meant, but Worf would say nothing more. "Check the  
libraries of the planet Wariy IV."

Wariy IV was a planet on the border of Klingon and Federation space and  
frequented by most races in the galaxy. It had also been used as a  
conference site in recent years. Data went back as far as he could go with  
Federation clearance and began to go through 48 years of records. And,  
finally, he found what he was looking for.

***

"Come," said Picard when his door chimed. It opened to admit Data. "Sir, I  
have what I believe to be pertinent information. Approximately 6 years ago,  
Ambassador Korlig's daughter was injured in a similar way to Dr. Crusher  
while a party of Suranians was on the planet. It was a major incident in  
Klingon history as the Klingons banned Suranians from the Empire shortly  
thereafter."

"Are they in the habit of abusing people?" the captain asked, confused.

"I do not know," Data admitted. "But I believe the incident was of a sexual  
nature.

Picard paled and pulled his jacket straight. "I want you to find out what  
happened, Data."

"Yes, Sir."

After much time spent on subspace, Data finally tracked down the  
ambassador's daughter. She was now an ambassador herself - to the Vulcans,  
no less! Amazingly, she agreed to talk to Picard - if they talked in person  
on Vulcan. Data relayed this information to the captain, and the ship  
suddenly had a detour to make - 18 light years off course.

***

Beverly was teaching Re'Ece to dance on the Holodeck. "Why are we diverting  
to Vulcan?" he asked.

"Don't know. Step back here, not forward. Good. Some diplomatic business, I  
think. Okay, little turn here... You're doing well."

"Beverly, I miss you." They stopped dancing.

"Re'Ece, I miss you too, but I don't want to start anything before I'm  
completely healed."

"You're like a drug in my blood." He nuzzled the red hair that so fascinated  
him. "Please let me come to your quarters tonight."

The doctor stepped back. "Not tonight."

"All right. Whatever you say," he said, passion in his voice.

Beverly stepped away as if to leave, then turned. "Re'Ece..."

"Yeah?"

"Did anything happen the other night, when I was with you?"

"Like what?"

"Did I fall, or something?"

"No, we had a wonderful time together. You make me so happy."

And Beverly said, "I don't remember."

***

Picard paced restlessly around his quarters. The were still 16 hours from  
Vulcan and the time seemed to drag by.

This whole incident with Beverly had unsettled him and brought long-denied  
feelings to the surface. After the Odan incident, as Picard called it, it  
had taken much effort to regain his equilibrium and now it was getting  
thrown out of kilter ... again. Picard wondered how many more times he'd  
have to go through this before he either gave into his feelings for Beverly,  
or got them under control.

***

Beverly was most surprised when her door chime sounded in the early evening,  
but was even more surprised when she saw who it was. "Re'Ece! Why are you  
here? I thought we'd agreed to stay apart?"

"I know... but I'm sorry... I just can't stay away. You are so beautiful."

He took a step towards her, but Beverly backed away.

"No, Re'Ece..."

He looked pleadingly at her, desire clear in his eyes. "Please. I just want  
to hold you... feel you... then I'll go. I promise." He covered the  
remaining distance between them and took her in his arms. Then he bent his  
head, blocking Beverly's vision as his lips met hers.

***

Beverly awoke slowly, feeling dreadful. She felt uncomfortable and shifted  
her position only to take a sharp breath as pain seered through her side.  
She lay still until the nausea and dizziness passed and then slowly got up.  
Activating the mirror, she stripped off her night dress and examined her  
body. He eyes grew wide when she saw the large bruise across her lower right  
rib cage. There were a few others too but they weren't that serious. Except  
for the broad bands of bruising around her wrists. What was happening to  
her? She had no recollection of sustaining the injuries. Suddenly she felt  
scared and sank onto the dressing table chair. She sat for ages wondering if  
she should inform the captain of her latest injuries. Finally she decided  
she had better, because Picard might kill her if he found out she'd somehow  
gotten hurt again.

In the night, however, the ship had assumed orbit around Vuclan. Picard was  
presently talking to Kehlok, Ambossador to Vulcan.

"Captain, why do you want to know? You offend my honour."

"Excuse me if I'm doing that, but this is important. I must know how your  
injuries occurred."

"I must know why first."

Picard took a deep breath. "My chief medical officer has been hurt a few  
times, very badly. We suspect it has something to do with the Suranians."  
Kehlok snorted; a very Klingon thing to do "The Suranians, perverts of the  
galaxy."

Picard leaned forward, almost falling off the Klingons chair he was perched  
on. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, Captain, that what they do is perverted and dangerous and no  
honourable person will have anything to do with them."

"You said you'd tell me what happened to you."

"They present themselves well, Captain. They sometimes want alien women. One  
wanted me, but their memory block didn't work." She paused. "Afterwards, I  
killed him." There was pride in her voice.

"You killed him?" asked Picard, stunned.

"For what he did to me. Honour demanded it."

Picard was still in the dark. "Please just tell me what it was he did."

"He beat me up. That was all. He hit me and hit me until he was... satisfied.

Then he tried to block my memory and he left. You see, Captain, they only  
perform the actual sexual act..." - here she grinned at Picards  
embarrassment - "...to reproduce. The rest of the time they are merely  
violent. Men and women. It is how they obtain their gratification." Picard  
asked how she knew all that.

"He told me when he was on his knees, begging for his life. As if it was an  
excuse. As if that was reason enough. No Suranian will ever make that  
mistake with a Klingon again, be sure of that, Picard."

Picard was sure of that. He was also shocked. And he now knew how Beverly  
had gotten her injuries. What he didn't know was what he was going to do.

***

When Picard beamed aboard and went to his Ready Room, he found Beverly  
waiting for him, fresh burises quite evident. She looked uncertain - she did  
not remember. "Jean-Luc, I... it happened again. I don't know how, I... it  
scares me not to know."

"I know." He remained in the doorway and didn't move towards her, but

Beverly jumped up. "What? Jean-Luc, tell me."

Picard told her everything the Klingon had told him, but Beverly was not a  
Klingon, she didn't rush out intending to murder Re'Ece.

"I don't know if what you're describing is medically possible. If it is...  
he likes me. I like him. I thought... I thought we..." she trailed off. "Its  
ironic. I never remembered. All I remembered was the tenderness at the  
beginning. But I want to remember, Jean-Luc. I have to." She made to exit,  
but Picard blocked her path.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to Sickbay to retrieve my memories. And you will not say anything  
to Re'Ece until I know for sure what happened. I'm saying this as a friend,  
Jean-Luc - stay out of it for now."

The Captain nodded "All right."

***

As Dr Miller turned off the memory-inducer, Beverly looked up to find Re'Ece  
looking down at her, smiling "Beverly."

She got up, put her jacket on and wrapped it around herself protectively. As  
she drew abreast of him she said, "My quarters, now."

When he reached her quarters, Beverly was waiting inside, looking angry.

"How could you, Re'Ece? You said you cared for me. How could you?"

"Beverly, I had no choice. I wanted... to share something with you... I  
wanted you."

"That was something I couldn't share. I'm not like you. Sometimes we must  
face that, instead of thinking only of ourselves like you did. You didn't  
think of me, of my feelings."

"I..."

"You didn't try."

"Doing that... is reproduction. I don't want children." Beverly sighed.  
"Humans reproduce differently, Re'Ece. I won't have a baby unless I want one.  
But you didn't even ask."

"I didn't know."

"Ignorance is no excuse, not this time. Please leave."

"Beverly..."

"Leave. Now."

She wouldn't budge, and the Suronian left silently after whispering,  
"Beverly, I'm sorry."

When he left, Beverly stood against the door for a long time, crying, as she  
remembered how she had received every bruise and every cut... and she  
remembered Re'Eces face - and that was the saddest thing of all. How could a  
species possible evolve such a way of gaining something meant to be  
pleasurable sharing between two people, she wondered.

***

"I'm not pressing charges, Jean-Luc. We drop them off in four days and  
that's the end of it."

"Beverly, he hurt you."

"Yes he did. But it was because he cared about me. His ways were different."

"Is that why he supressed your suppressed your memories of it?"

"I don't know! But I do know that he cared about me. He didn't want people  
to find out and take me away."

"Which just proves that he knew it was wrong."

Beverly sighed. This conversation sounded a lot like the one she'd had with  
herself just a short while before. "He knew that we thought that but to him,  
it wasn't. Try to see that Jean-Luc."

Riker, also in on the meeting with Worf and Deanna, knew about that. "I  
understand what Beverly is saying. People have very different ways of doing  
things, and we can respect their ways, but --"

"But we don't have to like them," said Troi.

"Or participate in them," finished Riker.

Picard sighed. "Very well. But we will inform Starfleet and the Federation  
of this species mating practices. I don't want them inflicting that on  
another unsuspecting person. People must know what they're letting  
themselves in for."

Everyone agreed.

***

Beverly began to feel down about a week after they had dropped Re'Ece and  
the rest of the colonists off at Bayo III. It was as if all her  
understanding feelings and thoughts had dissipated and given way to a  
feeling of anger and helplessness. She had grown quieter and quieter and  
today, at tea with Jean-Luc, she was sitting staring into space.

"Beverly, how do you feel?"

Beverly looked up startled. "What? Oh... I don't know," she admitted  
reluctantly. "I spoke to Deanna, but she's busy... I know what she'll say  
anyway."

"What can I do to help?" Picard asked, concerned.

"I don't know, Jean-Luc..."

Picard stood up, straightened his jacket and held out his hand. "Come with  
me, we'll go for a walk."

Beverly perked up a bit. "Okay. Where are we going?"

"The Champs Elysees."

Beverly perked up even more. "Good, I haven't been there since..." She  
looked away, thinking of another time when she and Jean-Luc had walked there.

 

The memory was pleasant and soothing and loving, and the doctor wondered why  
he'd chosen that particular site... she didn't ask, though. They merely  
strolled along a quite deserted Champs Elysees.

Beverly began immediately to feel better, but she still wondered. Picard was  
holding her hand lightly, so that all she felt was a slight pressure.  
Eventually, she turned and faced him, letting his hand go. "Thank you,  
Captain," she said. "I do feel better. Why this location?"

"I thought it might cheer you up."

Beverly took a deep breath. "Yes, there are pleasant memories here."

Picard looked deep into her eyes. "That's why we came."

Beverly smiled, seeing in those hazel eyes many things she hadn't noticed  
before... like lover and concern... and need, somewhere deep underneath. And  
she knew he hadn't brought her here only to cheer her up. "What do you want,  
Jean-Luc?"

And he said only one word. "You."

Beverly had been through a lot, and she just started to laugh. She stood on  
the Champs Elysee with Jean-Luc Picard and laughed.

Picard looked most upset when this happened, and it only made Beverly laugh  
more. "I'm sorry, Jean-Luc, it's... it's so ironic. I waited so long to hear  
those words, and it has to be because of this."

"No, Beverly. Maybe this was a catalyst of some kind, but I do love you. I  
do want you." He took her by the shoulders. "Believe that."

"I do believe it."

"Then...?"

"Then nothing. Change the program and be with me."

"Computer, run program T892."

The scene became one of wildly blooming roses of every colour. The scent of  
them enveloped the doctor, and she looked around in delight. "Jean-Luc...!"

"It's Counselor Troi's program," he said.

"Figures." Picard's face became serious. He took her in his arms, enveloping  
her in his warmth, and felt whatever tension had been left in her body drain  
away.

"What do you want, Beverly?" he asked as she rested her head on his shoulder.

Her voice was muffled as she answered him. "You."

Picard did not laugh as Beverly had. He pulled back as his eyes burned into  
hers, hazel on blue, and their lips met, full of need and passion, love and  
desire, want and sharing, desperation and more love... From there, all there  
was was a warmth through both of them as their clothes somehow disappeared  
and Picard kissed every fading bruise and cut, and Beverly let him.

THE END


End file.
